The Windmill Turns
by A Pale Ghost
Summary: "Neji... If you bullshit me one more time, we'll be having Bird à La Neji, which is french for Neji with a bird shoved up his ass!" - NejiTen multi-chaptered, mostly humor based, vignette collection. To be enjoyed with a nice mug of hot chocolate, preferably with an ungodly amount of marshmallows added in. Rated T for Tenten's PMS.
1. i - exhausted

**Note:** This is the continuation of _So This Is Our Answer. _Although I had lots of fun writing my first collection of songfics, I wanted to start over with a fresh canvas. Especially now that I've tested the waters a bit, I'm certain this new collection will be just as good, maybe even better, than the last! Although you'll probably have to deal with me swapping between third person narrative and whatnot. Anyways, if you'd like to do me a huge favor, feel free to leave a nice review. I welcome all feedback, even negative feedback (just be polite, obviously). Well, that's about it- enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, nor am I making any profit from this fanfiction.

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><p><strong><em>i.<em>**

**_(exhaustion)_**

_"it's okay to say you've got a weak spot, you don't always have to be on top."_

"Ugh. _Why_ is your house so damn big?"

This is Tenten's disgruntled remark as she literally drags Neji through his obnoxiously large family compound. They've been at this for some time now, and the kunoichi is beginning to loose patience. Not that she's complaining- it's almost endearing to see her usually stoic teammate so helpless, but then she remembers that she's supposed to be pissed at him -_right-_ and mutters some choice words as she slings his arm back over her shoulder. Putting a semi-conscious Hyuuga prodigy to bed at one o'clock in the morning isn't exactly Tenten's idea of fun.

It's a single comment from Hiashi that sets him off- something about "worth" and "proving oneself". _Right: __total bullshit, _thinks Tenten, the kunoichi's muscles screaming in protest as she swats at a strand of loose hair. _Neji could become hokage and Hiashi would still find a way to shame him. _Thinking nasty thoughts about an equally nasty clan leader, Tenten props her near-comatose teammate against the wall, momentarily relieved of her burden. The weapon mistress gets all of three seconds rest before Neji collapses for what must be the third time tonight. She catches him before he can spill forwards again, grunting lightly at the extra weight. Easing him to his knees, she takes him by the shoulders, scolding the Hyuuga as she does so.

"Baka!" Tenten chides, shaking him slightly in an attempt to rouse the chakra-deprived prodigy. "We've been through this before, Neji: sleep first, _then_ kill yourself!" In reply, he mumbles something incoherent, trailing off helplessly as his eyes glaze over once more.

Great, now he is half-asleep _and _incomprehensible.

She's got the closest thing to a living zombie on her hands. With an exasperated sigh, she rests his head against her shoulder, face palming with her free hand. _The things I do for you, Neji... _She knows that if he passes out completely, putting him to bed will be utter hell. With that in mind, the kunoichi mutters an apology, before proceeding to slap him with all the force she can muster. The good news is that it seems to work, and he jerks upright, brow furrowing as he attempts to figure out where they are.

"Hey," she teases gently, returning his bewildered stare with a light smile. "Try and stay awake this time, okay? I have no idea where the hell I'm going." Neji sighs heavily, giving her a shockingly reprimanding look for someone who recently collapsed of exhaustion.

"You _always_ get us lost," he states (rather vaguely), lifting his head a fraction of an inch as he studies the seemingly endless corridor. "Hn, you're going south. I said north, Tenten."

"Oh, _shut up!_" The kunoichi mutters a few choice words, scowling a little as she shifts Neji's weight from one shoulder to the other. He isn't particularly heavy, but she's starting to get pins and needles. Slinging one of his arms over her neck, Tenten elbows him testily, "It's dark and you're heavy." Needless to say, Neji just grunts, his head rolling forwards again.

"Maybe you should take your training seriously," he slurs, then, as an afterthought, the Hyuuga adds, "like me."

Tenten nearly drops him.

"HYUUGA NEJI! IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TRAIN MY ASS OFF 24/7, I'M SORRY, BUT YOU ARE _SORELY_ MISTAKEN!" She pauses for breath, looking highly annoyed and being (he winces), very loud about it all.

"You are behaving unreasonably," Neji deadpans, closing his eyes again. "... Just turn left at the next corridor and keep going until you find the stairs. Honestly, it's not that difficult."

"I said shut up, you!"

Growling, Tenten storms down the hall with newfound strength, grumbling about men and their insufferable stubbornness. If he weren't so tired, Neji would have been mildly amused by it all. Instead, he just grunts in acknowledgement, hardly hearing her as she continues to rant about his lack of common sense, which is rather ironic. He drifts in and out of consciousness for the most part, occasionally forced into wakefulness by a prodding finger.

"Alright, now what?"

Tenten's finger is back again, poking him with renewed force. Stifling a low moan, Neji blinks wearily, the prodigy's habitually razor-sharp brain, slow to process her words. Lifting his head just long enough to asses their location, he points at a door further down the hallway. Nodding, she makes her way towards the door in question, pushing it open with her foot. Although Tenten has known him long enough now, it's the first time she's been inside his room, and this surprises her somewhat. Before the weapon mistress can give it any further thought, Neji's head smashes into her shoulder and she feels him go completely slack. Instinctively, Tenten makes to catch him, cradling the unconscious Hyuuga as he tumbles forwards. _Fool, _she thinks truthfully, running a hand through his mane of dark hair, _you're such a fool, Neji.  
><em>

Lifting him gently from the floor, Tenten finally puts the Hyuuga to bed. She's sorely tempted to take advantage of this rare opportunity and braid his hair or something, but can't bring herself to do so. The satisfaction of besting him just isn't present in his current state, and besides, she thinks it would be funnier if he were awake. Smiling softly, she smoothens his blankets one final time before extinguishing the lamp. A single sliver of moonlight streaks through the curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. Tenten cannot help but admire how it's luminescence plays with the strands of Neji's hair, turning inky black tendrils into an almost silver sheen. Eventually, she tears her gaze away from him and shuts the door quietly behind her, still grinning like an idiot until she remembers that he'll be utter hell to live with tomorrow.

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><p><strong>Additional Notes: <strong>Is it wrong that I absolutely _love_ writing about deliriously tired prodigies? Nawwww, I didn't think so!


	2. ii - pen and paper

**Note: **Yes, it's short. Bite me. Here's for making it this far when I've been dutifully neglecting my HOMEWORK, GRADE 11, and LIFE IN GENERAL. Baa humbug to you all!

**Disclaimer: **Hahahahaha, _no._ I only own Naruto in my dreams.

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><p><strong><em>ii.<em>**

**_(pen and paper)_**

_"i'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned."_

It's become her latest hobby. More frequently, Neji's found her bent over paper, scribbling furiously. She's created quite a collection of pages, which she somehow manages to keep in order. He's never actually gotten to look at them. Tenten refuses to let him see what she's written.

He finds the crinkled papers left out on the counter one day, and against his better judgement, begins to page through them, reading what she has devoted her free time to write. There are many corrections and some sentences have been struck through completely. Here and there, lines have been added and amended, dutifully penned in the kunoichi's casual scrawl. It is with mild surprise, that he realizes the story is about them. The parchment documents her thoughts on him, their time together as team Gai, and her hopes for the future. He reads through four pages before Tenten comes back, casually hurling a kunai at his face when she notices what he's doing.

Neji scowls.

Tenten narrows her coffee brown eyes, the threatening look marred by a mischievous, somewhat sheepish, grin.

She leans on the kitchen counter, shrugging with unconvincing nonchalance. "It was Sakura's idea."

There's a brief moment of silence in which Neji returns his attention to the unfinished manuscript. When he reaches the last of what she has so far, the Hyuuga promptly turns back to page six, and pushes it towards her.

"You do realize it never happened like this, right?"

"It makes it more romantic."

Mildly amused, Neji sighs. "It's already romantic."

"Pffft... You wouldn't know romance if it bit you in the ass."


	3. iii - sex

**Notes: **I'm done. I'm going to DIE, and I'm also done. Yes, this was fun to write. No, I have nothing against sex. You must remember that every time I write one of these, I'm faced with the equivalent mental image. And now, you are too!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned this, Kishimoto would gouge his eyes out.

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><p><strong>iii.<strong>

**(sex)**

_"sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, yeah."_

_They've done it just about everywhere... So much for being discreet._

**_( lee's backyard. outside, in the snow. )_**

"I'm going to kill him."

"Not if I get to him first. He's mine."

"I beg to differ."

"OW! SHIT, NEJI! What the hell? Now I'm soaked _and_ covered in snow!"

"Then maybe you should tell Lee to turn off his sprinklers!"

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><p><strong><em>( the academy darkroom. because, why the hell not? )<em>**

"Hn. The photography students aren't going to like this."

"Shut up."

"How unfortunate. I suppose you probably ruined all those photos."

"It was a moment of passion, Neji!"

"You're a horrible liar, Tenten."

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><p><strong><em>( in an elevator. )<em>**

"Hurry up! We don't have much time before those doors open again!"

"This was your idea, not mine."

"It's not going to matter in ten seconds!"

"Hn."

"Holy shit, is that a camera?"

"Oh, fuck."

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><p><strong><em>( on some stranger's front porch. )<em>**

"What will the neighbors say?"

"Something vaguely catholic by the looks of them."

"... Is this a bad time to be wearing the lingerie Ino and Sakura gave me?"

"Most likely, yes."

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><p><strong><em>( sasuke's bed. it had to happen sooner or later, and hey- it's just one more thing neji can rub in the uchiha's face.)<em>**

"Oh, you did NOT just do what I think you did."

"Observant, aren't we?"

"I FUCKING_ SLEEP_ THERE!"

"Your point?"

"Save it. I'll be in the bathroom throwing up."

"You enjoyed that, Neji, I know you did."

"... And now he's going to kill me. Perfect."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking."

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><p><strong><em>( the academy hallway. )<em>**

"Oh Kami, I think I just rolled in gum."

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><p><strong><em>( sasuke's closet. )<em>**

"Oh, _VERY_ clever, Neji."

"It's not like we could get away with using his bed, again."

"I dunno... I still think it was pretty funny."

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><p><strong><em>( tenten's kitchen. )<em>**

"I have to eat here, you know."

"Says the woman who practically bruised my ribs."

"Shut up. I missed you, okay?"

"That better not be a kunai in your hand..."

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><p><strong><em>( the academy library. because suggesting they do it in tsunade's private office was out of the question. )<em>**

"I'll admit doing it on top of the Health books would be rather amusing."

"Typical. I'm sure it's been done before."

"My point is that it would still be humorous."

"Yeah, well, I said no. We're doing it on top of Calvin & Hobbes, and that's final!"

"You need help."

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><p><strong><em>( mcdicks. and really, how can you not? )<em>**

"Neji... they have a fucking BALL PIT."

"Done."

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><p><strong><em>( nude beach. yup, that too. )<em>**

"I feel so uncomfortable."

"It's a nudist beach, Tenten. What did you expect."

"Idiot, it's not that. The nudists keep staring."

"And you care because? Honestly, they're nudists. They don't get to judge."

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><p><strong><em>( weapons shop. trust me, it's much harder than it seems. )<em>**

"Tenten, this is dangerous."

"You don't say? Ow, I think I have a makibishi in my ass, fuck!"

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><p><strong><em>( hiashi's office. )<em>**

"If I am disowned, it'll be all you fault."

"Who cares?"

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><p><strong><em>( lee's backyard, take two. )<em>**

"I swear, if he forgets to turn off his sprinklers one more time..."

"Yeah, I totally agree."

_Fwish._

"OH, GODDAMNIT!"

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><p><strong><em>( rainy day. )<em>**

"And how is this any different from the sprinklers?"

"It's not."

"Hn."

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><p><strong><em>( sauna. whoever said sex in the spa was hot needs to be killed slowly and painfully. )<em>**

"Jesus Christ, which moron can I murder for telling me this was supposed to be fun?"

"How do you think_ I_ feel?"

"You're a fucking vampire."

"Exactly."

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><p><strong><em>( beneath konoha's hokage monument. )<em>**

"I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"Tenten. It's the goddamn Hokage Memorial, you don't honestly expect me to defile their honor?"

"Oh for- Neji! It's not like they're actually watching, and besides, you're the one who told me to ignore the nudists! And they were _alive!"_

"I refuse."

"Look at me."

"What?"

"You heard me, just turn your stupid head a fraction of an inch and look at me!"

"Hn."

"Damnit, Neji! Stop staring at The Third and _look at me."_

"Fine."

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><p><strong><em>( waterslides. )<em>**

"Wet and Wild, or River Rapids?"

"...Wet and Wild, most definitely."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"Obviously."

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><p><strong><em>( zoo. well, at least they were among fellow animals this time! )<em>**

"The penguins look... offended."

"Now that you mention it, Neji, they really do."

"Glad you agree."


	4. iv - vodka

**Notes:** It's short and er, drunkenly sweet? I'll let you guys decide for yourselves.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

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><p><em><strong>iv. <strong>_

_**(vodka)**_

_"and i might drink a little more than i should."_

A drunken Tenten nervously approaches the bottle of vodka under the mistletoe.

"V-vodka-sama," she stammers, blushing at the sight of her true love. "I've always wanted to kiss you under the mistletoe."

The bottle of vodka does not reply, for it has no means of doing so. Mustering up her courage, Tenten picks up the bottle and presses her lips to its cold exterior. In her longing to taste more, she opens up the bottle and drinks the burning liquid contained within. She has never tasted anything so delicious.

"I love you, Vodka-sama," Tenten whispers. "No other alcoholic beverage compares to you."

The bottle still does not respond, but Tenten is happier than she has ever been.


	5. v - morning kisses

**Notes: **I'm getting better at this, eh? ;)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong><em>v.<em>**

**_(morning kisses)_**

_"... and if you look over there, you'll see two slobs rolling around in bed."_

The first thing she does is stretch, the motion in turn, waking Neji who mumbles something incoherent. He's exhausted; every inch of skin discoloured by a mass of bruises. The last thing he wants to do is get up. Strictly speaking, so is Tenten, although she's already accepted the fact that she'll have to get up sooner or later. He finally makes the minimum effort required to raise his head an inch off the pillow and stares wearily at Tenten.

"It better not be as early as I think it is."

She laughs, attempting to run fingers through the tangled forest growing from her head. "You're the lightest sleeper in all of Konoha, what did you expect?" Chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully, Tenten flops back into the pillows, fixating him with eyes the colour of melted caramel. "Why do you always have such perfect morning hair!?"

Neji rolls his eyes, the question is not an unusual one- Tenten asks this almost every morning. Rolling over so that he's facing her, he reaches out, claiming a strand of the kunoichi's knotted tresses.

"Hn."

His brows furrow ever so slightly as he tugs gently at her hair.

"Fix your hair."

In reply, Tenten scowls playfully and, worming her way closer, takes delight in messing up the Hyuuga's prized locks.

"Fix _your_ hair!"

Growling, Neji snatches her hand before it can completely wreck his hair. _Fine. Two can play at this game. _With an exasperated sigh, he wraps his free arm around her waist, pulling Tenten against him. "Don't," he huffs tiredly, "do that." It's much too early for this; why must the love of his life be so childish?

The Hyuuga's unexpected embrace is a pleasant surprise and Tenten's grin widens as she allows herself to be pulled closer. "I thought you hated cuddling?" Although she's really just teasing him, Neji doesn't exactly enjoy physical contact. Then again, Tenten can't blame him for scorning Gai and Lee's exuberant group hugs, which explains a lot if you think about it. Long story short: it's not every day he decides to be all cute and un-Neji like. _Give him a few years_, thinks Tenten as she breaths in his familiar scent. _There's hope for him yet. _

"I don't," he says testily, resting his chin on her head. "Although I'll make an exception for today." He really shouldn't be doing this, but it's early and he's got a sweet-smelling pile of girl curled up against him. Oh yeah, he'll definitely make an exception. Because really: this just _feels good. _

"Just for today?" Tenten stops trying to burrow a hole in his chest and looks up, visibly amused. "Why not everyday?" Bringing her face closer, the kunoichi rests her forehead against his, intoxicated by their closeness. When he doesn't immediately respond, she cracks an eye open to make sure he hasn't fallen asleep again, and comes face to face with his own pearlescent gaze. Running her fingers through his hair once again, she draws him in for a quick kiss. "You're enjoying this, I know you are."

Needless to say, the prodigy is more interested in what she's doing with her lips than providing an answer, and he rolls over to pin her beneath him. "We'll see," Neji replies as they break for air. Tenten just grabs him by the front of his shirt and deepens their embrace, letting her actions speak for themselves. The alarm clock's shrill screech doesn't even faze her. Instead, the weapon mistress uses a free hand to smash the cognitive daylights out of aforementioned apparatus, clearly not caring that she'll have to replace it.

Silence falls as both nin become fully enthralled in one another, speech meaning very little to them at present. When they do go vocal again, Tenten's evil grin is back. Sitting up a bit, she crosses her arms and adopts a decidedly pouting look.

"...Then will you at least let me braid your hair?"


	6. vi - flowers

**Notes: **Pure fluff. Enough said.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, not me. Unfortunately.

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><p><em><strong>vi.<strong>_

_**(flowers)**_

"in fields of flowers"

Fluttering to life, she looks up through the flowers, admiring the morning sky. Sunlight shines through the dew-covered grass, making everything look like a continuous rainbow. She smiles and rolls over, resting her head in the hollow of his collarbone. She wraps her arms around his waist and pulls him closer as he lays his hand gently on her back. He kisses her forehead and burrows his nose into the back of her hair, trying to keep warm.

She giggles, lightly tickling his side, making him scowl a bit and squirm. He sits up, his dark hair shining in the daylight as he fixes her with his beautiful pale eyes and presses his smile to hers. She sighs deeply and falls back into the flowers, letting the sounds and smells of the meadow completely overwhelm her senses. She closes her eyes and etches it all into the back of her mind, picture perfect so she'll never lose the feeling she has right now.

He lays his hand lightly on top of hers and squeezes it like a silent, "I love you." She squeezes back and in that moment she knows she'll always feel the same way.


	7. vii - hand holding

**Notes:** More fluff for the senses. Honestly, I have no idea where this came from or why the hell I'm being so sappy, but whatever- we'll call it a happy medium, okay? I actually think Kiba's a decent guy. He can be rather annoying and thick-headed, but he's ultimately not that bad.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Yay.

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><p><em><strong>vii.<strong>_

_**(hand holding)**_

"just hold my hand, damnit!"

"Quick, Neji!" she hisses, scooting her chair closer to his.

The Hyuuga frowns lightly when he realizes that their hips are touching. "What are you doing?" he questions, raising a slender brow. The salmon roll in Neji's left hand is beginning to fall apart, so he sets it down rather hurriedly.

"Hold my hand."

"...Why?" It's the last thing he's expecting her to say, and Neji attempts to maintain an apathetic face. The prodigy fails, though, and his eye twitches minutely in growing irritancy. Growling, Tenten ignores his protests and grasps aforementioned limb.

"Just hold my hand, damnit!"

The soucre of Tenten's woe becomes apparent seconds later when the cloth hanging from Ichiraku Ramen's doorframe is promptly pushed aside, revealing both Naruto and Kiba. And although the Kyuubi is for once, keeping a civil tone, Neji can still hear his every word, and he immediately despises them both.

Tenten makes a grab for his hair, yanking him closer- a bit too close in Neji's opinion, and breathes into his ear, "Apparently, Kiba's been trying to ask me out for weeks and..." she adopts a mildly apologetic grimace, "I"d rather not."

Too late, of course: the boys have already spotted their familiar faces and are rapidly approaching. "Hey Tenten!" Kiba hollers over the occasional crackle of static Ichiraku's battered radio coughs out. "What're you doing with Neji? Come eat with us!" Kiba turns to Naruto and snickers, the cocky look on his face somehow makes Neji want to stand up and Jyuuken the living daylight out of him.

Needless to say, Neji remains in his seat, though Kiba is clearly looking for a fight of sorts. Tenten elbows him furiously, pointedly ignoring the monstrous white dog at her feet. _Why must everything happen to me? _Neji wonders, heaving a long-suffering sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Go away, she's with me, thank you very much." The prodigy cringes, not at all liking what his cooly delivered statement implies.

Neither does Kiba, because he reddens and Neji notes that his hands have curled into fists.

"I... I'll f-fight you!"

Neji cannot believe what he's hearing. _"Excuse me?"_

Kiba looks more embarassed now, though he puffs out his chest and tries to look intimidating. "You heard me, Hyuuga. I said I'd fight you and I will!"

"You," Neji manages once he's gotten over Kiba's total lack of intelligence, "are an idiot."

Tenten stifles a laugh, clamping the napkin she's using over her mouth before it betrays her. Kiba, in her opinion, isn't really an idiot, although he's _definitely_ not the sharpest kunai in Konoha. Not by a long shot. She's still chuckling at the unspoken jealousy radiating off both boys when Neji, who's expression is one of utter boredom, Jyuukens Kiba halfway across the street. Naruto gapes wordlessly before scampering off to tell all of Konoha what's just gone down, while Neji storms back to his seat and tries not to break the porcelain teacup he's drinking from.

Tenten just grins mischievously as she reaches across to claim his hand in hers. "Jealous, are we?"

Neji grunts with as much dignity as he can muster, frowning down at the soy sauce which has claimed the floating remnenats of his slamon roll. "Are you going to let go of my hand now?"

"...No."

Strangely, he's not terribly upset by this.


End file.
